this is like the 10th time in the past 4 months that 3rd world pirates seized cargo ships on the high seas! it's hard to read these articles without laughing because the pirate stories we're familiar with are the classic ones from the 1400's which involved bearded swashbuckler's looking for buried treasure, canon battles against other pirate ships, having duels with swords and single shot hand guns, stories of kids finding a treasure map in their attic to a boat belonging to "one eyed willie" then finding his boat, raiding it for jewels and then try to escape from the fertellis, stories where pirates wore beards, had wooden legs, wore rags, had severe drinking problems, ate with knives, drank from skulls and made traitors walk the plank. we're not familiar with modern day somalian pirate stories yet, with pirates wearing donated salvation army clothing from the late 90's, shooting ak-47's and missiles, demanding millions of dollars (cash not gold) for ransom and riding in shitty cruise ship rescue boats or little dinger fishing boats that even the guy from "the old man and the sea" would laugh at. can they at least change the name from "pirate" to "african sea bandits" so we don't get confused? and can the modern day pirates at least attempt to look like the classic pirates? do you think disney will hop on this current issue and put out an african version of "pirates of the Caribbean?" which would include a ride in their theme park? could lil' wayne play the role of black beard? all i can say is note to self: never go sailing in the arabian sea or indian ocean...the last thing i need to add to my "hero" resume is rescuing a bunch of people from a seized vessel by using a sword to battle against 3rd world machete wielding pirates in second hand cross color overalls, kid & play t shirts and X hats.
i didn't even know they had boats in somalia. You'd think that in a country where 400 years the people were captured and actually forced againt their own will to ride in crowded slave ships across the ocean to america that boats would be the LAST thing people in that country would ride in. i thought the only thing that came from there were bummer infomercials at 2 am with bug eyed hungry kids covered in flies, chewing rocks, wandering around in a daze of confusion, drinking and bathing in cattle urine and surrounded by a big fat white person trying to get american money so they can eat for a penny a day. is it even possible to eat for a penny a day? man, those commericals bum me out. they're about as depressing as the those ones for abused/neglected pets which are about to get youthenized with natalie imbruglia playing in the background. ever notice how those "a penny a day" commercials always come on when your in the middle of eating a burrito midnight snack and those abused animal commericals come on when you're trying to host an illegal dog fight in your basement? buzzkill.
i mean, c'mon. i've gone on a fishing boat trip in a paddle boat with a bunch of yuppie white people and we looked more intimidating than these dudes:
ship wreck:
then you get a liiittle bit closer and notice that these dudes are the real deal. i shat in my pants looking at these pics. i want to join this crew!!!
holy shit! the taliban doesnt even have guns like this! look at those bullets! straight outta that show "future weapons"
hahah i can't believe i never thought of this! the blind sheik as a pirate!
african bluetooth:
at least they're using the money from the raids to improve their lives...now can they come to america and raid the federal reserve to help us out?
i'm sick of getting emails from the king of africa!!
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